Melbourne Storm Preview

A 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th set of books will be found and all relating to Cam Smith. He will be banished from Melb and sign with Canberra.

Gold Coast Titans Preview

I will finally get my chance at 5/8 make an impressive debut but unfortunately due to a boogie board pool incident at the recovery session I will break my ankle and not see another game this year. We will dominate the NRL season winning the minor premiership and grand final. Princey will not be overlooked and will replace JT at Origin and Australian level. Preston Campbell will retire at the conclusion of the season. Kevin Gordon will score 30+ tries. Nathan Friend will win the Dally M hooker of the year.

Brisbane Broncos Preview

Darren Lockyer will break his hip in round 1. Following Locky's injury the Broncos will unearth a brilliant player forcing Locky into either retirement or overseas. The Broncos will come 5th but get flogged by the Titans in the finals somewhere in the 75-0 area. Hannant will be shit, quit Rugby League and take a job as a professional polar bear.

NZ Warriors Preview

The Warriors will be the dark horse of the 2011 competition. They will finish in the top 4 maybe even a minor premiership, make the grand final but will be distracted by stray and loose sheep and the whole team will come down with various VDs and will be forced to forfeit the GF. Oh and Russell Packer will get busted smoking pot. He looks like one of those pot smokers.

North Queensland Cowboys Preview

In season 2011 the cowboys will use 26 different 5/8s. Due to another drunken incident mid season JT will be sacked as captain. Captaincy will go to Matt Scott or Brent Tate. Nth QLD will be one win away from making the 8 in round 26 and will win in golden point but be catapulted out of the finals.

Sydney Roosters Preview

In 2011 season Todd Carny will tattoo his penis because he will run out of untouched skin. Mitchell Pearce will be selected for the Blues but will get a season ending injury before game 1. The Roosters fan base will grow to 4 supporters and be even more glam & faaabbbbulous! They will make the Grand Final again but lose followed by Brian Smith's suicide.