Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Gold Coast Titans: Tale of a Salary Cap Breach

As we all know the Titans have made some very semi long term deals. Jamal=5 years Douglas=3 years* Champion=3 years. The question has been raised how can the Titans, who as we know are not a financially healthy club, can afford these players? Well that's simple and I shall explain in the following paragraphs further on.

What I'd like to say before venturing onto speculations of how we can afford these players is that it is stupid wasting all this money on player talent to try to bring fans in but won't improve the fucking infrastructure at Skilled Park! It's a cunt to go to for games at least put a fucking car park there for fuck sakes! Now moving on may i present The Jetstar Gold Coast Titans salary blanket.

First all players were given a house next to or in the same street as Princey.

Second all players were given boats to enjoy in the Gold Coast sun.

Third all other players are only playing for pizza vouchers.

Fourth they have hired a 24 hour beautician to look after Jamal.

Fifth Douglas doesn't have to play for the sharks.

Sixth Champion did not like the boat Melbourne offered him. He prefered the 18 footer that the Titans offered.

Seventh all will be appearing in Jamal's tv show flop.

*may not be accurate

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Season So Far

Well hasn't season 2011 been an interesting journey so far? It seems my general cuntery prediction for manly was incorrect and the titans have caught the cuntery flu. Seriously who thinks 'oh wait let's drop one of the top 5 hookers in the game and buy a fucking useless centre(Idris)'. Cunts! You should have torn up Capewell's contract. He's as useful as tits on a bull.

How good is Orford? I bet he has a horse's head in his bed every night.

What about the cowboys? Who gave them the swift kick up the ass they needed? According to mason Henry is a shit coach. How's your career looking now small willie?

Seriously over the overratedness of the doggies 7(chokesondickinson). Somebody needs to get that man a neck! He'd be an easy cunt to kidnap because he can't turn his head!

Before the season started i told someone on twitter(@sataninheels_ i believe) that the eels will be the shit stain of the NRL and finish 18th, not a bad prediction huh?

Matt Elliot got sacked. No i don't mean fired i mean some penriff boys jumped him and gave him a beating with a sack full of rocks, good penriff.

Souths still have room for improvement. Improving on how to better counsel their disappointed fans.

Sandow joins eels to make the shit stain a little darker.

Ennis is a cat. That is all.......for now.
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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Melbourne Storm Preview

A 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th set of books will be found and all relating to Cam Smith. He will be banished from Melb and sign with Canberra.

Gold Coast Titans Preview

I will finally get my chance at 5/8 make an impressive debut but unfortunately due to a boogie board pool incident at the recovery session I will break my ankle and not see another game this year. We will dominate the NRL season winning the minor premiership and grand final. Princey will not be overlooked and will replace JT at Origin and Australian level. Preston Campbell will retire at the conclusion of the season. Kevin Gordon will score 30+ tries. Nathan Friend will win the Dally M hooker of the year.

Brisbane Broncos Preview

Darren Lockyer will break his hip in round 1. Following Locky's injury the Broncos will unearth a brilliant player forcing Locky into either retirement or overseas. The Broncos will come 5th but get flogged by the Titans in the finals somewhere in the 75-0 area. Hannant will be shit, quit Rugby League and take a job as a professional polar bear.

NZ Warriors Preview

The Warriors will be the dark horse of the 2011 competition. They will finish in the top 4 maybe even a minor premiership, make the grand final but will be distracted by stray and loose sheep and the whole team will come down with various VDs and will be forced to forfeit the GF. Oh and Russell Packer will get busted smoking pot. He looks like one of those pot smokers.

North Queensland Cowboys Preview

In season 2011 the cowboys will use 26 different 5/8s. Due to another drunken incident mid season JT will be sacked as captain. Captaincy will go to Matt Scott or Brent Tate. Nth QLD will be one win away from making the 8 in round 26 and will win in golden point but be catapulted out of the finals.